Tuesday, January 10, 2006


january 05 was full of heavy-heart nights. they're not so frequent now.
but sometimes ((like tonight, when dark raindrops tear away from a low ash sky))
my heart sinks again.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

late night shopping (not at all profound)

i do this thing at u-scans that i never really noticed till tonight.
i try to be as fast and efficient as possible.
and i imagine all the people in line behind me are very relieved.
and the cashier is very impressed.
(because, as a cashier, you must get very frustrated with scanning inaptitude)

Thursday, September 29, 2005

(another) thursday

some days are just so good
in a just so ordinary sort of way.
it's this thing i do(life), day in and day out,
and when it's steady like breath(today-right now),
i sometimes somehow forget to breathe,
and i guess it just slips my mind(this fact)
that these just so ordinary days-
well, they're pretty damn good.


Originally uploaded by banannalee83.
yay for pictures!

Monday, September 26, 2005


the coming of fall makes me feel.
like a bear confused, i tend to hibernate in the summer heat.
i lay half-dead in dead-air rooms and wait
for chilly colors and bright winds to disturb my lazy slumber
with goosebumps, unexpected.
today, i felt.
(and my lazy-bear-self shook off its summer sleep, waking up, again, to the world.)

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

"and when I opened the closet, the dead body of Mary Poppins fell right on top of me"

tuesdays are the bane of my existence. and so, in an attempt to rescue today from being another tuesday from hell, i will now list reasons that make me glad i'm still (barely) breathing:
1. dr. urschel going on two separate tangents- one involving the title of this entry, the other involving her 9-year-old self waking up and seeing joanie mason's severed head next to her bed in the middle of the night.
2. a before-chapel discussion about john's blossoming career as a stand-up comic
3. dr. hasker as father time
4. my boyfriend who is (most of the time) nice to me
5. the great news about my ethics paper not being due til tuesday (!!!!!)
6. tylenol cold medicine
7. my apartment which encloses two good friends, one good cat, and a beautiful sequined horse
8. blake and mason, my two new friends next door.
9. i don't have to go to work until 5:30
10. i'm about to take a shower
see? 10 whole things. tuesdays may kick my ass, but they can never take away my beautiful sequined horse.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

bitchin' freeze

it's been awhile.
too long, probably. but sometimes words seem to get stuck half-way between my heart and my fingers-- and it's just too hard to squeeze them the rest of the way out onto a little white keyboard. and so i don't. i compose entries in my head and let them rest there until i forget. or i convince myself that something's lost when it's written down... that living moments die as soon as the blinking cursor moves across them.
but really i think i'm just partly lazy and mostly insecure.
too tired to try and too prideful to fail.
i'm back, though. at least for today.
we'll see about tomorrow.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

"i just can't imagine non-christians in the millenial kingdom..."

two middle aged men. puffy hair and matching mustaches. sip their coffee and discuss their newly-learned theology.
pre-trib, post-trib. rapture. millenial king. resurrected bodies.
let’s keep the discussion going over hot drinks and chocolate chip cookies.
stay in your christian coffee house and argue your future rewards with exaggerated hand-movements and slow, passionate words.
“and their judgment is hell, then...”

and then i wonder how i got so bitter.